QE C v Stockton Riverside

It was a typical home game at the sell out arena Abbey Road. Not once has the weather ever been nice at that ground in my 1 and a half years at this college. However even with the rain smashing down and the potential of playing in what could only be described as a swimming pool, spirits in the home team dressing room were high. Replenished by the newly opened tuck shop the team were once again ready to undergo battle with our counterparts from the rough old place of Stockton. The team was slightly altered with a few changes to the squad recently; 4-4-1-1 of Jake, Tunner, Bravey, Underwood, Timms, Raper, Neish, Skips, Thapa, West and up top on his own Denny. With the blow from the ref the game was underway. In these conditions it was particularly hard to get the ball down and play the QE way, which resulted in lots of balls been played up to Hal, who using his strength managed to rile their centre halves and hold up play expertly. This lead to Hal getting the opening goal, in my old age I'm becoming very forgetful so I apologise for not remembering the build up, although I'm sure I pulled the strings in the middle before Hal was in on goal and made it 1-0. Basically from the restart we switched off and conceded a very poor goal. After a little scrappy bit of play we went 2-1 up, Westy this time with the goal after some good work between him and Hal. Once again we were struck by the typical saying of 'most vulnerable when you just scored' and it was 2-2 through probably the weakest shot ever which bobbled into the corner. The next goal was probably the best goal of the game, Westy proving his worth by beating his man down the wing before crossing expertly for Tom to finish on the volley, 3-2. The highest bit of quality in the game came from QE's enforcer in midfield, with a pass that the little French beauty Yohan Cabaye would of been highly proud of. There defence was spilt and Westy was on hand to to make it 4-2, yet however in a one and one he hit the post, to the disgust of the playmaker, it stayed 3-2. Robert soon made up for his error when more good work from him and Hal resulted in a goal after Westy rounded the keeper, It was now 4-2. QE's fifth goal of the game was soon to follow, the midfield general once again instigating the move with a brilliant tackle in central midfield before releasing Denny who then squared it to Rob, although I was in a much better position, Westy however completed a first half hat-trick and the win now looked comfortable. Second half was more of the same with a few tiring legs, once again a Cabaye like pass from you know who fell right to Westy, who returned the favour to Hal to get his second of the game. With the score at 6-2 Gary felt it comfortable to make a couple of substitutions, with myself carrying a back injury of having to carry the team I departed for the new squad member Matthew and Sam came on in place on Lewis who had a solid debut. Whilst off the pitch we scored again through a delightful free kick off Hal Denny to complete his hat trick, Sams mazy run must be mentioned as it forced the defence to swipe him down just outside the box. They then scored again to make it 7-3, the obvious lack of a leader on the pitch resulted in a free man being left in the centre to easily slot the ball home. The game then fizzled out and after the return of the enforcer the ship was steadied and QE cruised to victory. Only other thing to note was Westy causing some aggro with one of their little rotters who had a slight hissy fit right on full time. 

MOTM; Robert west today was awarded MOTM for grabbing a hat trick and being instrumental in everything we did going forward. Although he would of struggled without the rock behind him it was a deserved accolade for the lad. 

Cock up; 

Unfortunately this week it will go to myself for 2 occasions. The first one being a free kick which I went to take quickly, unfortunately I slipped and fell flat on my face, providing great entertainment for everyone watching. Secondly after a fairly decent run I went to turn their right back who was disorientated at the pace and skill on show, I tried to turn him and once again turned into Bambi on ice and went head over tit, somehow managing to pick myself up and keep the ball. Warrior. 

Good routine win lads and still 2nd. Will let everyone know about next game. 

C Team v Tyne Met

After just watching Newcastle at Swansea I'm quite happy I chose not to attend that game in South Wales and make a much happier trip up to Tyneside to continue our fine form. Due to the absence of some of our squad, all suffering from the terrible illness of awaydayitus, we had to draft in a couple lads names Niall and James, can't go into too much detail of them due to legal reasons. The long journey there was pretty low key, with James and Ab throwing out some very questionable dance moves for a period of time. We were treated with the sight of the beautiful St James Park on the way in, the glorious Sydney Opera House( the sage) and also some of the more rural ends of Newcastle which need not be described nor returned too. Eventually we got there, and as we turned up there team was actually about to leave, so the journey could of been a shocking waste of time. Anyway after walking a good 17 miles too the pitch we found it, it was a fairly sized 7 aside pitch but the upside was it was onlooking the training complex of Newcastle United. This could of been a huge chance to impress. With the sun beaming down and making it difficult for our goalkeeper to see we kicked off, playing also against a slight wind. It took about 4 minutes for me and probably most of the lads to realise we were playing against absolute gash, and in honesty some of us took our foot off the pedal at 0-0.  Chances were few and far between in the first half, Westy hit the bar with a decent free kick whilst they hit the bar when their right winger hit a cross come shot that Jake tipped onto the bar. A quick break in the first half resulted in Tom being through, his shot was below average to be honest in the windy conditions, yet somehow it slipped under the keeper, then Ab came racing on to score from at least an inch out, 1-0. We came in at half time and after not playing great we were winning, Gary made 3 changes bringing James Niall and Josh on. The second half kicked off and we were right on the front foot, James was terrorising the centre backs whilst Niall and Westy were tearing their fullbacks apart. The second goal came with James picking the ball up before beating a couple players, then rifling a unstoppable drive into the top corner with what I believe to be his weaker foot, 2-0. The third goal followed shortly afterwards when Niall was played through into a position where any normal person would have crossed to the 3 team mates in the middle, Niall chose not to pass, and expertly smashed the ball into the far corner, 3-0. With the game over Gary started making changes with me slotting into my enforcer role in centre midfield and Tom coming back on up top. The 4th goal came from James once again dancing his way through the defence, who were getting slightly annoyed at the fact they could not touch him. With Tom Daley being in the headlines this week, personally more shocked that there is another series of his tv show than the fact he is batting for the away team but you know, one thing he has done well however is inspire James, not into having the strength to come out, but to perform a dive of a very high standard, it honestly would of been a solid 8 at the Olympics, but the referee pointed straight to the spot without hesitation. Due to not being on the scoresheet only one person was taking this despite Ab asking in the background if he could have a pop. Don't really need to say that it went in considering who took it, 4-0. Without even kicking back off I was taken off by our manager in a dubious call with our other centre midfielder limping about, favouritism. I never really watched the rest of the game as I was trying to find the ball from one of Toms wayward shots, eventually he did put one in the net from a follow up after Westy forced the keeper into a save. Shockingly this 'team' actually got a consolation, after Ab failed to clear his lines they got a corner, from this some small person leapt highest to head past Jake who can be forgiven for not being on his toes as the poor lad will have been freezing his tits off. The game fizzled out and we headed back to the bus with a pretty routine victory under our belt, happy days. 

Man of the match;

Today goes to Abel Neish, solid, steady performance. Did the simple things well, broke up their play, charged counter attacks, won tackles, generally a good game. 

Cock up of the Week;

Sam Henderson- After 5 goals last week he thought he was Aguero when it came to finishing and begged to go up top, had 2 clear chances and wasted them both, stick to defending lad. 

Home to Redcar next week lads, will text details later need a good turn up last game before Christmas. Cheers to James, Niall and Josh for today. Well played lads. 

QE C team v Bishop Auckland

Well as today was a friendly the report won't be as detailed as a regular game, sorry lads just I want a quick nap before work so you's can let me off for a week. Before the game we weren't really sure of who we were playing, we all knew it was Bishop college yet various reports of their team left us a bit puzzled. The team today was shaken up a bit by Gary to give the lads who hadn't played as much a chance to stake their claim, starting 11 of Ben, Tunner, Connor, Sam, Bravey, Roe, Neish, Owen, Ab, Tom and Dan. That left me, Westy, Wayne and Hal on the subs bench all waiting for our chance. The game had a slightly sluggish start, and it was clear that the reports of these being a poor side were true as they really didn't seem up to much. However they did manage to take the lead, through a decent move where the ball was pulled back to their big centre forward who cooly slotted away. We were struggling to really get a hold of the game, Callum Roe was suffering from illness so had to be replaced mid first half by Westy, yet still we were struggling to fashion any real openings. Not long before the break the ball was played over our defence to that annoyingly fast striker who sweeped the ball underneath our keeper and made it 2-0. It hadn't been the best of first halves for us yet it was obvious that we could still get into the game as they really weren't a good side. Half time came and on came myself, Hal and Wayne for Dan, Ab and Owen. After a few stern words off Gary we approached the second half in the mood to get this game back. Our mindset was clear as we really pressured them high up and forced them to make mistakes, after a lovely interchange with Hal, Wayne went round the keeper and got fouled, he tried to get his shot away still but the touch had knocked him off balance and the referee pointed to the spot. I stepped up and put the penalty in the corner and made it 2-1, game on. Literally about 2 minutes after getting back into the game we shot ourselves in the foot, however I was taking my thermal off so I never saw the goal, all I know is that it was the number 8 who I was supposed to be marking so I will hold my hands up to that, sorry lads, 3-1. This would often kill a team off but it actually encouraged us to go on again, I've had a complete mind block and have no idea who scored the second goal, I have a feeling it may have been Wayne but I really don't know. Anyone care to inform me? Anyway, apart from the same ball to that player on the left which Tunner dealt with well often, they had no further threat. Then as we broke away again, their defender stupidly pulled down either Wayne or Westy as the ball was going out of play and gave Connor no choice but to point to the spot. They say that a second penalty in a match is hard to score, not when your name is Jamie Herd it isn't. Swapped sides from previous penalty and even though the keeper got a touch, the pure velocity of the strike got it in, 3-3. There was only one team going to win it after that, we pushed on but never created any genuine openings, I wasted our best chance by striking wide with my left foot which is no real surprise. Once again we broke through their shaky defence with Abel who saw his good strike saved well, only for it to fall to our Asian wonder kid Ab, who cooly nodded home to put us ahead for the first time, 4-3. They pressed on slightly and moaned a lot to the ref, but created nothing of any real sort. After a poor clearance from their defence Westy played Hal through, the ball looked a lost cause yet Hal managed to cap a brilliant performance with a excellent finish to find the far corner. Even with the goal Westy was still furious with his pass, yet it was actually on a plate for Hal, suppose it shows the quality he expects from himself and rightly so. The game fizzled out with no real great chances for either side and we won 5-3, coming from 2-0 and then 3-1 down which shows a decent grit and kept our good streak going. 

MOTM; Whilst only playing the second half his physical presence up top was something we had missed, held the ball up very well, got himself involved in a little handbags moment, then capped it all of with a goal, Hal Denny. 

Cock up of the week; Has to go to our centre half, who thought he was Neymar with his new boots, shocking purchase, specially for our so called hard defender, good job you had a solid performance. This week is Sam Henderson if you hadn't guessed already. 

No game next week but as Gary said we play Northumbria away in 2 weeks so make sure you sort lifts out for after that match as we need a big squad, don't want people dropping out of away games as it would be a let down. Well played lads. 

QE C Team v Middlesbrough College

And we just keep marching ON ON ON! Cringey way to start the report, but don't think I was the only one buzzing after the win, or maybe I was! On the way there the bus seemed a bit quiet, maybes missing the so bad it's good banter that Owen provides, the journey mainly consisted of Ab buzzing about nights out, in particular the event at The Northern Echo Arena, not sure on the definite event name as it was changed for legal reasons, nevertheless the driver managed to get us there safely and soundly. Arrived at the fairly smart sports complex and were directed to our changing room, Gary named the starting 11 with Ben coming in for Tunner and Sam for the ill Callum Roe. After a solid 2 minute warm up the referee called for the game to begin and we were underway. We didn't exactly come firing out the blocks, yet they posed no real threat with Marvin Emnes up top looking like the only threat they had. Abel and Wayne were once again winning everything in the middle, Westy was running himself into the ground as normal and defence were solid. Our width was coming in very useful and we managed to get some joy from both wingers, one occasion Westy pulled the ball back to me and a shot destined for the top corner was kept out expertly by the opposition goalkeeper. Eventually after many chances Hal did excellent to beat a couple of men and get to the byline, before he cut the ball across and Westy was there to tap in, however the keeper saved it and it rebounded of Robs shin and went in, scruffy but didn't matter, 1-0. We went again and we were passing the ball very decently, ball retention was top notch except a couple of final balls letting us down. After having a goal ruled out for offside, I found myself on the end of an exquisite ball through from Sam Burchett to slot into the bottom corner and make it 2-0, we were cruising. Wayne, clearly playing for the camera, tried a rasping 30 yard effort with his weaker foot, which just evaded the bar. We were really asserting ourselves on the game, and playing with great confidence. Ref blew the whistle and in we went to Gary, 2-0 up and comfortable. Pleased with our performance, Gary gave us a few little bits of advice but merely it was just keep going as your going. I was guilty of the old kiss of death by saying we could get 5 or 6 goals, clearly slightly too confident. Middlesbrough made a few changes, and strangely enough it was the blond Augustus Gloop who seemed to be difference in their team second half. Hal soon felt the affect of him with a tackle which forced him to fall on top of poor Hal, painful to say the least. 10 minutes in the second half and we were under the kosh, the wind making it difficult to play. Gary opted to use his versatile captain to adopt a Cheik Tiote role and break up what they had to offer, which was message understood and received on my behalf. Once again we were on the wrong end of a poor refereeing decision to award them a penalty, in all fairness I was stood pretty close to the ref and the angle did look like handball, however Connors subsequent ball mark showed otherwise. It was hard to blame the ref and the penalty was tucked away, 2-1, game on. It was now going to be backs to the wall, and try and catch them on the break. Strangely, they never actually threatened Jake properly once after the goal, which was all good for us. After we recomposed after the goal we started knocking the ball about quite smoothly again, with our midfield 3 working well and communicating all the time. We had chances to kill the game off, I had 25 yard strike,  which was probably the best I have ever struck a ball, which went agonisingly close but went just over. Their keeper had to pick a couple loose shots and Hal had an opportunity to play the ball in, but like every great striker was selfish and went for goal, no harm in that at all by the way, unfortunately went just wide. You may think I'm missing our best chance to wrap it up if you were, but we will get to that. Without any genuine chances for them the game ended 2-1 and we had won again, we showed quality in the first half and resilience in the second to get the win, slightly like Newcastles performance against Cardiff earlier this season. The banter on the way home improved, with everyone appreciating the efforts of Ab, and Ben repeating a shocking video much to Tunners pleasure. 

Man of the Match;

Goughy got it today for another quality performance. For a smoker the lad doesn't half love grafting in the game! His game typically improved once he had stopped being recorded yet I'm sure he'll find evidence he's happy with as he was class all game. To be honest a lot of players could of been given MOTM today, Gary was the one who chose Wayne out and not many could disagree. 

Cock up of the Week; 

As previously mentioned, we had one golden chance to finish the game off. If I remember correctly Wayne ran down to the byeline, crossed the ball in and it bounced about all over, it fell to Dan who from a good ruler length out put the ball over the bar! It happens to the best of us, it seemed to just hit him to be fair, yet there was no escaping getting C.U.O.T.W for it! Luckily we managed to hold out to spare the poor lads blushes, but it wasn't forgotten! 

Obviously no game next week, no scheduled game week we come back so I will let everyone know on what the crack is when we get back. Have a canny week off lads and see you all when we get back, providing I'm not arrested on Sunday at the derby! Well played again lads, let's keep the run going. 

QE C team v Hartlepool FE

Weather couldn't of been worse for us today, absolutely freezing and rain smashing down. Before the game Gary gave us the team with a couple changes from our previous game. Callum Roe came in on the left hand side and Gary was rewarded with a goal inside 10 seconds as Callum raced on to a through ball by myself to place it in to the corner. His celebration choice was too run back in Steven Gerrard style at Instanbul as he cleearly wanted to get the game put to bed before his fitness kicked in and he had to be replaced. We held on to the lead for the best part of 2 minutes as our keeper spilled the ball in awful conditions and their lad followed up quickest. Straight away we were straight up the other end and after a ball in from me yet again Hal dived in and scored a cracking header to put us 2-1 up. Then within another 2 or 3 minutes their lad beat a couple of men before be was tackled expertly just inside the area, however the referee made an awful call to give a penalty and award them a cheap equaliser. Yet again within the space of 2-3 minutes, Westy, who was absolutely class yet again, went on a darting run before being brought down unfairly inside the box. The referee pretty much had to give it after the previous call, and it was tooked away with ease into the corner I haven't changed in at least 10 years, 3-2. The game started to get slightly fiesty especially after Hals two footed lunge which whilst it wasn't too bad of a tackle, warranted some words from the opposing player who threatened to 'get him properly', typical Hartlepool Rarf. Throughout the rest of the first half we played well and defended solidly, with me and Hal both squandering a brilliant chance each to put us 4-2 up. At half time we came in and 2 subs were made, Ben and Sam came on for Tunner and Callum. As the second half started they clearly wanted to get a quick equaliser but we defended class again, after a very questionable decision to give a corner, their lad jumped highest to win the header which was destined for the top corner, before Bravey leapt like a salmon to make a fantastic goal line clearance. As they started to commit more we were able to catch them on the counter attack, after a scrappy little build up I was able to compose myself on the edge to cut in on my left foot and stroke it into the bottom corner, 4-2. As the game was slightly over Gary made some changes, I was replaced with Tom Raper and Wayne was replaced by Owen i think. Would like to point out I got 2 goals and 2 assists, good days work I must say. With the game opening up now and their main centre half starting to wander, we were able to expose the frail defence they had. Hal was on hand to get his second of the game, I never actually saw it so Hal can feel welcome to comment on his second goal, very sorry Hal. The scoring was then complete with Tom grabbing a goal with an excellent finish into the bottom corner and the game was well and truly over. Whistle blew and after a quick handshake due to conditions we rushed back to the changing rooms for warmth. Abel gets a special mention for providing the towel which helped all us pretty boys who have reputations and couldn't go back to college with our hair the way it was. Quality performance today with places to be played for, well done lads, deserved tomorrow's day off. 

Man of the Match; Westy put in an performance which showed why I was worried in the week when rumours of him leaving came about, yet today I will give MOTM to Wayne for winning the ball constantly, retaining the ball well, and being solid in his tackling. 

Cock up of the week;

This week goes to Sam Henderson who after a quality run from the heart of defence gave a Suarez style dive in an attempt to win a penalty. Absolute shocking dive, which was rightly heckled by the opposition players. Worth pointing out I had to think hard for this cause there wasn't any blatant ones so sorry mate you were quite unlucky this week! 

C Team V Stockton Riverside

Bleak afternoon up in Billingham for the game against Stockton Riverside. In a game which we never started too fantastically we did slowly get a grip on things with our midfield starting to get the ball down and play very well. Even with Stocktons early pressure they never truly troubled our back 4 who had a solid game and left jake with little to do out collect a few scrap balls over the defences head. Once again I had a goal ruled out for offside(wrongly) but we didn't have to wait much longer to go ahead after Sam Henderson met a corner like a young John Terry to make it 1-0. The goal was thoroughly deserved and we carried that lead into half time. Gary ran a couple of changes at half time with me and Sam Burchett being replaced by two people who I can't actually remember so sorry lads. In all honesty the second half was a dull affair with Gary using all his squad so we ended up making 7 or 8 substitutions within 15 minutes which kind of disgruntled the side and we slowly started to lose our shape, once the lads coming on got into the game we started keeping hold of the ball without posing any real threat on the opposition goal. The main highlight of the second half was a coming together of the referee, one of their lads and Callum Roe. As the Stockton player was running with the ball the referee practically 2 footed him to the floor making him lose possession and the ball fell to Callum, as the game shouldn't of been stopped Callum went to run with the ball before the referee stopped play and went to talk with Callum before bizarrely showing him a yellow card, we can only assume it was down to the ref not being able to admit he fouled the lad so he decided that Callum was infact at fault. May I point out that the same referee, who resembled Herbet off Family Guy an awful lot, was involved in an incident with myself last year which resulted in me owing £60 to the FA and served what felt like about a 6 month ban so we clearly has something against QE. Their equaliser came from a hopeful cross that flew over the keeper and landed at some round shaped striker who let it cannon off his thunder thighs and trickle into the goal for an undeserved equaliser. The match faded out after that with no team threatening a winner before the referee brought things to aclose. 

Today's man of the match was Sam Henderson or Hendo as he apparently gets called. Absolutely solid at the back with some great tackles and even played out with the ball when possible, grabbing a goal was the icing on the cake for his performance. Also very strong today was Westy who is starting to become quite a driving force of the team, Wayne who must of stayed off the tabs as he looked an awful lot fitter until brutally winded and Bravey who kept there little annoyingly fast winger in his back pocket throughout. 

Cock up this week goes to Ab for numerous things but mainly for not knowing anyone's name and calling Goughy 'Owen' and calling Hal 'Abel' repeatedly. 

Decent performance lads, see you's in two weeks for home game against Hartlepool FE. 

C Team v Gateshead College

Well lads personally I can say that was a very promising performance. It was a very overcast day at Abbey Road although the air was very humid as I found out having to strip down to take my thermal off within 5 minutes. Before the game the pre match songs were top class, ranging from your Celine Dion to Cascada, all hyping the lads up for the opening game. From the outset we did match them and in the first half only 2 self inflicted mistakes let us down. Our midfield looked pretty strong and Wayne and able were winning a lot of tackles, if only Wayne didn't smoke he could of had the energy to win tackles all over the pitch. We looked sharp going forward and westy was unlucky hitting the post on the end of a brilliant move which I must say I instigated by getting out of a very difficult corner with a ridiculous amount of ease. We also had a goal ruled out for offside which if I didn't have over sized feet would of probably stood as I think my big toe was just a little bit off so I apologise for that. Second half we did drop off slightly yet still defended solidly with our 2 centre halves looking like they'd played together years so well done Sam and Adam as that was a pleasure to see. I could not go through this report without a special mention for the little lad between the sticks who was brilliant, some of the saves Jake made would of made a young Buffon proud so for that he just edges westy to my Man of the Match. Also Hal gets the customary cock-up of the week by turning up at 10 past 2 thinking that's what time he needed to be there. Whoever gets the most cock ups of the week has to get their legs waxed at the end of the season so make sure you aren't on the receiving end of being the 'cock-up of the week'. Next week Stockton so very winnable game, remember there's a good chance it's 3G so could be mouldies. Text me your number if you haven't already(07527645564) and see you all next week. 

Little footnote; 

If anyone picked up a black thermal on the side of the pitch could you return it to me as I forgot to pick it up. Thanks lads